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U.S. women don’t enjoy their femininity enough

26 September 2008, 17:49 | Views:1090 | Comments :10
Being Ukrainian, I grew up in a society where femininity was - and still is - praised. I am not talking about women wearing dresses and heels. In my viewpoint, there is much more to being feminine.

I consider Ukrainian women to be feminine because they are generally not attracted to jobs like firefighting or police service. More importantly, I consider them feminine because they encourage men to be gentlemen. A Ukrainian woman expects a man to open the door for her, pass her the coat, and give her a hand with a heavy suitcase. It does not make her feel patronized. Nor does it take away her right to pursue a doctorate in philosophy, be a CEO or lead the country as prime minister.

An American woman, on the other hand, might sue you for this, depending on the circumstances.

Despite general “ladylike” behaviors, I believe that Ukrainian society is in many ways woman-dominated. Even the Kyiv Independence Square has a statue of woman – it is a symbol of the Ukrainian nation. I believe that Tymoshenko’s braid is loaded with the same message. Adult women in Ukraine always managed to maintain their femininity while getting a higher education, progressing in their career and rising to an influential position in the nation.

While I applaud the feminist movement’s accomplishments in the United States today – gender discrimination is illegal – I have mixed feelings about some of the aspects of feministic behaviors. American women seem to feel threatened by the smallest deference to gender. They strive to look independent, not in need of open doors or of help with the coat. They prefer to pay for themselves when they are out and do their best to not look overly feminine when they want to be taken seriously. Some women prefer to be called “Ms.” instead of “Miss” or “Mrs” because they considering revealing marital status to be discriminatory. While all of these deserve respect, my biggest concern is that the fear of looking womanly may have its effects on family values. There are too many stories in the news about forgotten babies – in the car, in the store or elsewhere. Also, according to the National Center for Health Statistics, the divorce rate in the United States topped 50 percent in 2005.

So, ladies, my advice is: keep your femininity. It gives you a competitive advantage. There must be a serious reason why many American men are looking for wives in Ukraine. Also, it is unfortunate that there is no “Woman’s Day” in the U.S. What's wrong with being a CEO and getting flowers and  compliments all day? This is what I would call smart.

Leno Redko, a Kyiv native, lives in San Francisco and is studying for a master’s in business administration at the University of San Francisco.

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Guest  (Guest) | 24.12.2008, 06:44
This is the last part of my comment - So, in regards to the relationships between the genders in the two societies, you miss the point completely. Maybe American women are overdoing it a little with total independence etc., but really, Ukrainian women have a lot to learn from American women. And, for your information, divorce rates in Ukraine are not far from those in the U.S. – both Ukraine and the U.S. are in the top 10 on the list of countries with the highest divorce rates in the world. Check your facts.
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Guest  (Guest) | 24.12.2008, 06:44
Also, let`s not forget that Ukrainian women endure sexual harassment every day. I was sick of being treated like nothing more than an attractive body by Ukrainian men in professional situations. I truly appreciate that in a workplace in the U.S. I am valued for my ideas and contributions, not for my long legs, etc. I enjoy having professional work relationships with men in the U.S., and truly do not miss my experiences with men in Ukraine (being repeatedly invited to the sauna/restaurant by my boss, inappropriate comments about my appearance, inappropriate touching, etc.). Ukrainian society is sexist and ageist (as a young professional and a female one has no say, oh wait – go make us some coffee). As for Women`s day on March the 8 - I prefer to be respected and treated fairly every day, and could not care less about obligatory bouquet of flowers once a year. So, in regards to the relationships between the genders in the two societies, you miss the point completely. Maybe American wom
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Guest  (Guest) | 24.12.2008, 06:42
I find the tone of your post condescending. Some of your statements reveal a lack understanding of the two societies. Other statements of yours are plain nonsense. What does “looking womanly” have to do with babies forgotten in the cars in the U.S.? What is the alleged relationship you are trying to draw between looking feminine and family values (or lack of those)? Your arguments make little sense.
I was born and raised in Ukraine, but have been living in the U.S. (various states and regions of the country) for the last 8 years. I have received MS and PhD from U.S. universities; am married, with a child. Perhaps American women are not as feminine as their Ukrainian counterparts, but it is refreshing to see women who do not wear ridiculously revealing unprofessional clothes, uncomfortable high heals, and half a pound of make-up on their faces on a daily basis.
Also, let`s not forget that Ukrainian women endure sexual harassment every day. I was sick of being treated like nothing mor
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Guest in Ukraine  (Guest) | 21.10.2008, 17:09
I think this article is absolutely correct. I live in Ukraine and have lived in the US; I prefer the Ukrainian culture, partly because of the view on femininity. I agree with the author that femininity is much more than what one wears. Here in Ukraine, I am honoured by men because I am a woman. Men I don\'t know will help me carry heavy bags. Men are much more polite and thoughtful. I am always taken care of by guys, not because I am an \"incapable\" woman (as many in the US would have me think), but because they really want to take care of me and respect my femininity. They see it as their duty to honour, protect, and take care of women. It is really freeing to live in such a society, where I can be feel respected and honoured for being a woman and am free to pursue whatever career I wish (I am a sportswoman). I do not feel hampered by the culture here, it is in fact the opposite. In the US, with feminism, there is not freedom to be feminine & one is not often honored or cared for by men
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Texas guy  (Guest) | 05.10.2008, 02:54
Your article is on point. Ukrainian women are among the most intelligent, educated, sophisticated, beautiful, and feminine women in the world. I am married to a fine Ukrainian woman so I might be a little prejudiced. All her friends are equally as fine. There are complex societal issues as to why the people of the different societies are the way they are, we are just glad that God blessed us with meeting (by a feak accident).
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Guest  (Guest) | 30.09.2008, 19:22
American women have a long way to go before they reach your great deinition of feminism,
Unfortunaletly Margaret Sanger and her ilk at Planned Parenthood have brainwashed American women into their version of feminism. The only hope I see is to totaly reverse Roev Wade, abolish abortion and implement a Family code based on the Ukraines family Code. only will this solve Americas family problems
Ilya Ulyanaov- Christian Socialist Party Of America
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Guest  (Guest) | 30.09.2008, 11:09
I cannot agree more with you. Happily married for years with a woman from Odessa. Local women look with envy to my wife because she acts and dresses like a woman and not like half a man.
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WMClarke   | 29.09.2008, 18:53
I was married to a women form Kiev. We went are separate way after 7 years. I learned alot about people and family from Ukraine.
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American Male  (Guest) | 28.09.2008, 16:13
There are many reasons why American men are looking for wives in Ukraine and other country\'s .
One is that with the internet,there is easy access to seeing or talking to women from many different countries.
Another is that American\'s and peoples from other countries that have email are spammed or sent links in email to look at russian women dating sites and what they find is that Russian women seem to look more beautiful on the outside that women that are in their countries.
I had read that in Russian society that women are expected to be married by age 21 or 22 and if not,they are looked at as if there is something wrong with them or treated differently.
I see in alot of Russian Newspapers that they have many stories with women that do not have many clothes on and have a new photo of some half nude model on their sites also.
These are Ukrainian newspaper sites. Are men in Ukraine looked at differently if they are not married by early twenties?
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Ukrainian Male  (Guest) | 29.09.2008, 12:27
Hi, I am 23 and i am single. I am not keen on marriage but most of my friends are married. I think if i was a female i would worry enough concerning it.:) For my mind such our mentality caused by priorities of our lives. Family have always been at the first place in Ukraine/Russia. In west society a career is more preferable for young people. And i am trying to make it know. But, i begin to think that i am losing my chanses to find someone as females try to be married by age 25 in deed. So, from time to time i feel myself like an old man:)
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