Name: Floris Schuring.
Hometown: Heerlen, The Netherlands.
Time in Kyiv: Two years, three months.
What he is doing in Kyiv: “Wondering what I’m doing in Kyiv.”
What he was doing when Ukraine declared its independence: Counting beans in The Hague.
Most difficult Ukrainian word to pronounce: Anything starting with “Ukr-.”
Greatest fear: To become trapped in something utterly boring.
First impression of Ukraine: “What the hell?”
Superstitions: “I never vomit into the wind – it brings bad luck and high dry-cleaning costs.
How often does he change his underwear: “Can I have some privacy, please?”
Favorite stomping ground: Anywhere, as long as there are interesting people around.
Funniest Ukrainian experience: Being sent back out into the snow in the middle of the night because the hotel he was trying to check into didn’t accept dollars.
Most important characteristic of a significant other: Being Spanish.
Best quality: “Haven’t you seen my body?”
Worst quality: “The parts of my body you haven’t seen.”
How often he washes his bath towels: “I’ll have to ask my cleaning lady.”
Dogs or cats: “As food, I prefer cats, when served in a white wine sauce. To kick, dogs are the easier target.”
Does he think rubber chickens are funny: “Funnier than this question and the answer to it.”
What he would do if he were invisible for 30 minutes: “Check myself in the mirror.”
Best place he’s traveled: A penguin colony in Patagonia.
What he wants to be when he grows up: A plantation owner in Brazil.
Worst trait: Can’t stand losing silly games.
Best trait: “I never lose them.”
Difference between Dutch and Ukrainian women: “On average, about 30 kilos.”
