You cannot mistake a Ukrainian woman for any other.
You cannot mistake a Ukrainian woman for any other.
In Frankfurt’s airport, she will be applying mascara to achieve that doe-eyed look before the 8 a.m. flight. At home in Kyiv, she wears a peek-a-boo mini skirt to the office. At weddings, she makes sure she looks better than the bride. In a swimming pool, it’s not just any pair of old flip-flops that she wears, but beaded hand-made masterpieces on heels from somewhere in India.
If Aristotle lived nowadays and said his famous phrase that in all things of nature there is something of the marvelous, he would mean Ukrainian women, for sure. Whenever I ask an expatriate working in Kyiv why he came here, the first reason he gives is – women; and only then career development.
Of course, it’s a joke but it’s not funny anymore.
It seems that the breed of females under 30 has changed in Ukraine. They are no longer a universal package of feminine, pretty, caring, smart and family-oriented as dating agencies like to sell them. Most of them are either one thing or another. I often hear girlfriends complaining of being unable to find suitable dating material, but I was taken aback one Wednesday night when a smart, fun and good-looking New Yorker asked me where to meet a keeper (a woman for a serious relationship) in this town.
I thought quality women were everywhere, but it appears that beautiful timid violets have been replaced with wild orchids requiring special conditions to grow and a careful hand to water. In other words, Ukrainian females are easier to get compared to foreign women, but are so much trouble to establish a healthy relationship with later.
For the sake of clarity, I am writing about your general young professional Kyiv community males and women they tend to meet. The nature of their work and income often takes them to the most popular joints – bars or clubs, where it’s easy to pick all types of roses. For better or worse, they lose all their thorns while out and about.
And so on a typical night out, the New Yorker I mentioned before starts a conversation with who he thinks is the least underdressed of all suggestive-looking femmes. It’s going well, and he asks her out for a coffee the next day. They meet for what he plans to be a chat about Kyiv life, perhaps some current affairs and traveling stories. But it turns out she has her own, quite different agenda. His cappuccino bill can come up to $500 if he wanted to take her home immediately skipping the niceties.
Aghast with women in his playing field, the guy goes to the library to find someone who is not in the fast lane and wants more than a new fur coat or to eat in a posh restaurant. His chances there are definitely better but still not great, in my opinion.
To see my point just take a look at our student feminist movement – and they are nearly impossible to miss on the evening news! Even they choose to protest Ukraine becoming a sex destination by wallowing in mud or wearing white tank tops in the rain. With barely covered crotches and nipples, they walk Kyiv streets with slogans like “Ukraine is not a brothel.”
I think this type of PR only underscores what we know already – young women shed their clothes too easily, be it for a social cause or money. As one Ukrainian man put it, it’s a “general degradation of social norms and values in Ukraine.”
This very Ukrainian, a good-looking and foreign-educated professional, cannot find a keeper because women he tends to meet are either beta versions of alpha males focusing too much on their careers, or Ferraris speeding to a posh garage called a “give-it-all-husband.”
The first kind is stressing out about titles on her business cards, forgetting about being a woman. The second kind thinks that she needs clothes, jewelry, cars and other material accessories to complete her life puzzle. So his general portrait of a modern Ukrainian woman is that of a grown teenager overexposed to western ideals.
I am sure there is a girl with a healthy balance between the two, and she’s somewhere out there. She goes to charity events, concerts, art galleries and home parties of your good friends. Culturally, she is still different from her foreign peers.
As another expatriate put it, it’s a part of her DNA to buy clothes that men would like to see her wear – not because their girlfriends or fashionistas would approve. It’s like she is wired to be perpetually liked by men – not just her partner, but others too.
One of my Australian friends leaving Kyiv last summer told me about a cleaning lady who came in the morning to check him out of the apartment he rented. She was wearing a dress well enough for a dinner party.
Women working in multi-national companies – both pretty and smart – also go to night clubs, just like their male colleagues. However, the two fail to cross paths because humans tend to choose first what they need last in this type of environment. This is not to say that going to a club is a sin. However, unfortunately in Kyiv there are not that many options where you can strike a conversation above the waistline.
Abroad, lounges and restaurants throw professional evenings where both sexes can mingle and meet new people. In Ukraine, however, these establishments even fail to accommodate non-smokers, let alone create an environment for a smooth chat.
I guess choosing the right relationship is the subject that kept Adam and Eve busy – not just the Ukrainians and resident expats. But the point I wanted to make here is that men are also struggling with meeting the keeper-women in this country despite its rosy-glasses image of being a one stop shop for a great female partner.
Kyiv Post staff writer Yuliya Popova can be reachedat [email protected].
