Editor's Note: The following Kyiv Post classic was originally published on March 3, 2010, shortly after Viktor Yanukovych's Feb. 25, 2010, inauguration as president. We were reminded of the buffoonish politician's gift for saying and doing stupid things during his recent interview with BBC Newsnight's Gabriel Gatehouse.
During Ukrainian President Victor Yanukovych’s inauguration on Feb. 25, some of his staff and supporters shed tears of joy for his victory. Many others, however, watched the ceremony closely to see how the president – known for his gaffes – would screw up. He didn’t make them wait long.
Reading a speech during the official reception in Ukrainian House, the new head of state said he was raising a glass when there was no glass in his hand. When that blip was fixed, he went on to ask his guests to join him in his toast. But he misfired again. None of the high-flying officials on hand had been offered champagne yet.
Thus, Yanukovych opened a new chapter in his book of malaprops, now as Ukraine’s fourth president.
Yanukovych’s national debut as comic foil came during his first run for presidency in 2004. Campaigning in Ivano-Frankivsk, the bear-like candidate collapsed, clutched his chest and fell dramatically to the pavement when hit by an egg – yes, a single egg.
His press service said he was struck by a heavy object as well as the egg. But film footage showed no object other than the egg. It can be seen on this YouTube clip. The public largely interpreted the episode as a buffoonish attempt to make it look like the candidate had been attacked – and he became the butt of jokes for weeks afterwards.
Yanukovych continued his climb up the humor charts by confusing countries and nationalities, poets and even the names of close aides. His mistakes seem natural, so do his gaps in knowledge.
When Yanukovych refused to debate his opponent Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko in the recent presidential campaign, she called his intelligence into question.
“He does not understand, and cannot comprehend intellectually, what is being discussed,” Tymoshenko said. “He confused Austria with Australia. Maybe they have kangaroos there [in Austria], but they probably look funny.”
Yanukovych is even compared to former U.S. President George W. Bush, legendary for his foot-in-the-mouth disease.
On the campaign trail in Lviv, Yanukovych addressed the region’s residents as “the country’s best genocides” when he meant to say gene pool. His aides rushed to correct him. But he complicated things even further by adding: “Yes, and a gene pool too.” The slip was especially regrettable, since Lviv and western Ukrainians suffered greatly from the repressions of Josef Stalin.
His mangling of the mother tongue is expected to provide fodder for many new jokes in the next five years. Bloggers have started keeping track of his gaffes. Right after his Feb. 25 inauguration, smart computer heads came up with an image of a t-shirt with a sign in eight different languages on its back: “I am sorry my president’s an idiot. I didn’t vote for him.”
Not everyone, however, gets the message. “The bigger part of our population is not that highly intellectual, that’s why these blunders would hardly make a difference,” said Svitlana Uvarova, rector of the International Institute of Profound Psychology. “Sometimes, this funny image of a leader has a positive impact. For example, [Soviet leader] Nikita Khrushchev also used to say a lot of amusing things. But he was still loved by the nation.”
Running the Soviet Union after Stalin’s death in 1953 until his ouster by Leonid Brezhnev in 1964, Khrushchev is credited for easing the harsh repression of the Stalin era. He was blunt. He is remembered for banging his shoe in protest on his desk at the United Nations and for throwing corn stalks at probing American journalists. Unsophisticated perhaps, but his tactics inspired a hungry and war-torn nation.
Yanukovych’s gaffes, however, are thus far not very enriching. Submitting a presidential form to the Central Election Commission in 2004, he made more than a dozen mistakes, including misspelling “proffesor.” Such mistakes only raise questions about the legitimacy of his claim to having a master’s degree in international law and a doctorate of science in economics.
Radio host and famous comedian, Dmytro Chekalkin started a project “Merry Eggs” in 2004 after an egg attack at Yanukovych mocking all politicians. He dubbed and edited many of their public speeches online attracting millions of viewers. Now, Chekalkin made a promise to himself to devote not more than half an hour of his day to politicians, as “they are not worth it.” When Yanukovych was inauguarated, Chekalkin joked: “In order to cut electricity consumption, it has been decided to switch off the light at the end of the tunnel.”
Yanukovych’s literary confusions include mispronouncing the surname of famous Russian poet Anna Akhmatova as Akhmetova, the last name of Ukraine’s richest tycoon and Regions Party deputy Renat Akhmetov. Then he called another distinguished Russian writer, Anton Chekhov, a Ukrainian poet.
As a result, someone came up with a joke about Yanukovych marking the 200th anniversary of the birth of great writer Nikolai Gogol. The president, according to the wits, confuses Gogol with Google – and says the writer is his favorite search engine.
Yanukovych’s aides don’t deny the president has the gift of gaffe. “People are separated into those who speak a lot and those who speak little, but do a lot,” said deputy chief of staff Hanna Herman. “Yanukovych belongs to those who do a lot. He doesn’t like to speak and he doesn’t really know how to do it but it’s not what the country needs right now.”
A former journalist, Herman knows her boss’s shortcomings and tries to cover for them. However, on his first international visit to Brussels as president on March 1, Yanukovych went off the rails again. He confused Kosovo with Montenegro and South Ossetia with North Ossetia. His team reportedly asked journalists to edit out the mistakes, but the foreign journalists recorded the geographical blunders for posterity.
When someone threw a raw egg at candidate Victor Yanukovych in the 2004 presidential campaign, the candidate dramatically clutched his chest and fell to the pavement. Soon video footage surfaced of the incident which can be seen on YouTube.
Many who saw the video regard the incident as a ham-handed and staged effort by Yanukovych to portray himself as a a victim of an assassination attempt.
The ridicule inspired by the bizarre incident in Ivano-Frankivsk led to numerous jokes, including these:
– Victor Yanukovych arrives at a press conference, walks in and notices that there are only women in the room. He asks: “Where are the men?” Somebody answers: “The guards were told not to let anyone in with eggs.”
– Two western Ukrainians are talking. One says: “My friend, you’ve heard that someone shot Yanukovych down with an egg?” The other one answers: “What? Couldn’t they find a grenade?
– Yanukovych’s wife comes up to him and says: “Dearest, I’ve got something for you, but please don’t fall down, OK? I made scrambled eggs for you.”
– Doctor says to Yanukovych: “Victor Fedorovych, I have bad news and good news for you. The good news is that we have examined you and didn’t find any injuries. The bad news is that you are sick with incurable disease that will be part of psychiatric history – it’s eggfobia.”
Kyiv Post staff writer Yuliya Popova can be reached at [email protected]
