You're reading: Antifreeze-October 21, 1999

There is no excuse for what I am about to do. I admit it. It is an act of inexcusable cultural insensitivity that is bound to bore the vast majority of our readers. But, just this once I am going to ignore the mandate of a newspaper to address issues relevant to the readers and cater to a small crowd of Americans whose teams are World Series bound.

I should know better. I mean, I should take the hint from the fact that it is physically impossible to watch the Series in Kyiv. Even the largest satellite in town didnХt pick up the League Championships. Furthermore, baseball is a snail-paced, dull game that makes about as much sense to an average European as Ukrainian tax laws.

Nobody in Kyiv is interested except for a smattering of New Yorkers, Atlantites and myself. So what gives?

Well, fanaticism is irrational. Since when did fans need to justify themselves? And, I havenХt even fessed up to the full irrationality of this column yet. See, I am not from New York or Atlanta. I am addicted to routing for the Red Sox, a team that hasnХt won the Series in 83 years, and probably wonХt for another 83. The sole purpose of this column is to denounce the Yankees, the bastards who beat my team in the American League Championship and stole a trip to the World Series.

Actually, I donХt want to write about the World Series as much as I want to talk about how much I hate those damn, overpaid and predictable Yankees. And their stupid, arrogant fans.

ItХs just not right, how much they win. Where is the sport, the tension, the excitement? Who can route for a team that paid $870,000 per win in the regular season? ItХs like routing for Wal-Mart to move into a small town. Or thinking Russia has the right to speak for Ukraine.

ItХs all connected; I mean itХs about the struggle of the little guy to overcome the odds. Ukraine and the Red Sox really are comrades-in-arms.

Take Ukraine. ItХs not much of an international presence; itХs the old center of Europe, living in the shadow of a giant. People often confuse it with other central European countries. Outsiders are forever hopeful, but at best dubious, about UkraineХs chances of becoming a world player. Advisers get almost mystic when they talk about the eastern Slavic penchant for complacency. They talk as though it were a curse that will never be lifted.

Now look at Boston and the Red Sox. Not much of an international presence; the old center of America, living in the shadow of a giant. For most people, there is precious little difference between the Red Sox and the White Sox; theyХre both losers. Locals are forever hopeful, but the wider baseball audience is always skeptical about the SoxХ potential to win the Series. The team, they say, is cursed by the sale of Babe Ruth, almost 80 years ago.

Both the Sox and Ukraine are constantly mocked and reminded by their looming neighbors about their secondary status. The Yankees boast the highest payroll in baseball; support of the press; a powerful history. Likewise, RussiaХs got all the natural resources; is identified prominently in the international press; and has a menacing history.

Just as the Sox have been denied a shot at the World Series countless times by those horrid Yankees, RussiaХs ominous presence keeps Ukraine from fully emerging internationally.

For the few in the know, they want things to turn out well for Ukraine, for the Sox. I mean, they deserve it. They do what they can with limited resources. Certainly they donХt deserve to be humiliated anymore. Certainly the underdogs should win sometimes. But they donХt. Because of the Yankees.

Sorry if IХm ranting. IХve had a rough couple days. My team lost. Go Braves.