How many Westerners have come to Ukraine on some altruistic ideological crusade?
The IMFers, the USAIDers, the private investors spreading the gospel of capitalism to Ukrainians’ virginal ears all flocked here to lend a hand in establishing a new, independent Ukraine.
While such efforts are often misguided, generally their intentions are good.
Even the foreign investors, who are primarily concerned with making a buck, convince themselves that they are saving Ukraine from its past and helping to build a market economy.
But, no one has taken up one of the most daunting tasks of all — convincing Ukrainians that Halloween is the greatest holiday in the world.
The big event on Oct. 31 is not the election, as the democracy advocates, election watchers and watch-dog agencies would have you believe. It’s Halloween.
Nor is it just a question of getting dressed up and drunk. Halloween is a crucial element in any effort to help build a civil society, establish capitalism and generally assist the global spreading of American values.
Just look at the States: the United States is a country that has no need to boast its democratic credentials, yet less than half the population votes during presidential elections, and those who do have to choose between two look-alike candidates.
Our media has no teeth, and our politicians are beholden to rich, corporate interests instead of the voters.
But, just about everybody from 5 to 50 celebrates Halloween.
The conclusion is obvious. Halloween is closer to the spirit of free markets and open societies than any traditional vision of democracy.
First, Halloween establishes the value of collective greed in a society. Starting at an early age, kids learn that the more hearty they are, the more candy they get, and the more candy they get, the more they can horde. I remember coming back from a night of trick-or-treating with a six-month supply of candy.
I didn’t even want to eat it, but the candy was a type of currency. I amassed more then I could ever use, just for the hell of it. Without realizing it, I was internalizing one of the founding principles of capitalism.
While indoctrinating kids into the excesses of capitalism, it simultaneously encourages both charity and civic mindedness.
Everybody buys candy for the little kids running around; neighbors meet neighbors and civic spirit abounds.
Ingenuity and creativity are part of the parcel, too. Scraping together a convincing costume from the materials at hand is a process everyone must go through. Some do it better than others, but everyone takes part in the system.
Then, there are Halloween parties, which do more to advance the romantic ideal of equity among people than any Constitutional amendments. You arrive and are not judged by anything except your ability to assemble an illusion. Ah, glorious equity.
So, if someone tries to recruit you to observe the polls on election day or perform some other civic duty, I suggest you politely decline. Instead, work all day on your costume, give some kids candy, and get wasted at one of the smattering of KyivХs Halloween parties, congratulating yourself all the while for doing your part to establish a civil society in Ukraine.
Your efforts may not have much more effect than Peace Corps-type activism, but at least you will have more fun. Besides, aid in Ukraine is generally intended more for the donorХs self-gratification than assisting the recipient. And if you take my advice, you wonХt have to pretend otherwise.
