You're reading: Deceptive Love: My career in fooling men into love online

Editor’s Note: The following is Kyiv Post staff writer Daryna Shevchenko’s personal account of posing as a woman seeking love online while working for dating agencies in Kyiv, responding to men interested in meeting women. She is not writing about Cupidplc.com, the online dating agency that is the subject of a related story on this page.

“Hi, I am 21. I have big blue eyes, blond hair, a pleasant smile and lots of warmth hidden deep down in my perfect body. I am so eager to give all that I have to someone loving, caring and strong, just as you seem to be from your profile. I am tired of most men. They want only sex and I want real love. I think you are different and that’s why I am writing to you. Am I right? I saw your pictures last night and you already came to me in my dreams and I just hope you will get back to me in real life or, at least, online, very soon.”

OK, so I lied a bit – but never about the big things. I do want real love, just as every person on the planet does.

Most men do want only sex and the popularity of freaky dating sites is enough proof.

I did see many pictures on many profiles and that’s probably why I just couldn’t kick dozens of those mostly old and unnaturally horny foreign men out of my dreams at nights. And I did want all of them to reply, because every incoming message would bring me from 50 cents to $5, depending on the site.

Yes, I was the one you might have been getting those messages from, a translator for one of the many international dating agencies operating in Ukraine. And there were just a few things I was lying about: I wasn’t blond, I didn’t have big blue eyes and my body was far from perfect.

I was just an 18-year-old university student. My English was good enough to make it work for me. I wanted to be at least partially independent from my parents and didn’t want to be a waitress. I am not sure it’s a good excuse for fooling hundreds of men around the globe, but I am not sure that I need one.

One big online dating company with a good reputation usually happens to be an umbrella for two or even five other websites, more or less of poor quality.

I was working with three websites, managing the profiles of three to five women at a time. The worst websites required daily mailings to up to 200 men of different ages, but I got paid for opened messages. Oh yes! Believe it or not, there were that many men, reputable or otherwise, registered. I was making really good money, although I had to be creative.

The cheaper the website was, the more horny freaks were registered and the more naughty things they wanted us to write them.

However, we were mostly forbidden to write risqué stuff in the emails and that’s where I became a master of double entendres and word play. “Do you want to touch my …??” I was writing in the message theme. “…soul. I have a tender and full of love soul ready to be yours forever.” And so I continued with the message. It worked nine times out of 10.

And even though not all who opened the message replied, many did and everyone who did brought me more money. Frankly speaking, not many wanted to touch my “soul.” Most of them were much more interested  in parts of my anatomy. And I couldn’t ignore the messages, so my sex education had to go on and on…  It was a dead end, but quite a profitable route for a student to take. They were paying – I was replying and earning money by pretending to be different gorgeous ladies.

Good news, by the way: Those gorgeous ladies were as real as I am.

Most of the women agreed to the deal in return for a professional photo shoot and never cared about marriage, were already in relationships or were using respectable websites to meet men. However, some agreed to real dates with the men occasionally. Then I had to brief them about the email history I had established and serve as a translator. I followed the couple everywhere and was paid $15 per hour. But I also had to share the money with the girl – 50/50.

Did I feel nasty? Disgusted?

I did and I have hated dating sites ever since.

Do I regret working there?

Not much.

I earned enough money to buy my first digital camera and was finally able to pay for my vacations independently from my parents.

Am I sorry for fooling all those men?

For most, no. But there were a few men to whom I would like to apologize. I am really sorry, guys. You were intelligent, interesting, polite and respectful gentlemen, but sometimes it’s just not enough. Maybe they will learn: Don’t be fools and you won’t be fooled.

Kyiv Post staff writer Daryna Shevchenko can be reached at [email protected].