Let me set the table straight: I fully agree with everything Alexandra Matoshko wrote in the May 21, 2010, Kyiv Post (“Stereotypes as superficial as the men who make them”) about Ukrainian women and foreign men.
I do not seek a woman to be my wife who needs me or my lifestyle. I seek a woman who wants me for my qualities of character and deems my lifestyle and life goals to be compatible with hers. I am not remotely interested in a woman who is 20 or more years younger than I.
Four of the eight women with whom I had “quality” communications had no idea I existed. All their letters had been written by agency people.
For more than 10 years, I have been seeking a quality Eastern European woman to be my wife. I have traveled to Ukraine six times and Belarus once to meet women with whom I had communicated and all said they were interested in marriage and we should meet. I have met eight women in Ukraine with whom I had communicated.
Four of the eight women with whom I had “quality” communications had no idea I existed. All their letters had been written by agency people. One of the women had prepared the “perfect” week for my first visit to her.
In the first two hours with her, she insisted that I spend more money than I had expected to spend for the entire week, which was a liberal amount. It was obvious (body language and what she wrote was different than what happened) within those first hours she had no romantic interest in me. Not being a complete fool, I left.
I spent considerable time with three women (on different trips). Each convinced me they were the perfect match for me, even though only one allowed me to so much as kiss her on the lips. However, as soon as I returned to the United States, none of them wrote a single note, much less a letter, to me.
In every situation, the agencies strongly suggested I be introduced to other women for a fee, of course, when the woman of my choice was not interested in me or was not available to be with me.
Every additional woman I met was charming and interesting. With some of them, I had exchanged a few letters. With some of them, I truly felt a strong attraction. None of them remembered any previous communication with me and none of them were interested in any meaningful communication after I returned home.
One of the women works for a bank in Kyiv. She told me her best friend had gone to an agency and became a “professional dater” to share the income and benefits from men spending money on her when visiting her.
One of them flatly said she had never written any letters to me and had not read any of my letters. Nonetheless, she said it was all right for the agency to scam men because life in Ukraine was difficult. This woman had three university degrees, including a law degree, and was probably the most intelligent person I have ever met.
One of the women works for a bank in Kyiv. She told me her best friend had gone to an agency and became a “professional dater” to share the income and benefits from men spending money on her when visiting her.
The same woman told me her lovely daughter had been recruited by an agency to be a professional dater. In hindsight, I see she was telling me she was also a professional dater.
I have extensive documentation of the fraud that is being perpetuated by several agencies. I continued for all these years to use some of the agencies as I thought there has to be at least one Eastern European woman who truly seeks a high quality American man for a husband.
But, alas, I have not been able to find her. I suspect no quality Ukrainian woman would use an agency as all quality women in Ukraine know what a sham the agencies are. Is that true?
I see that several of these agencies advertise on the Kyiv Post website. Thus, it is quite counter-productive for you to investigate and report the fraud I am claiming. For the most part, the media in this country does not bite the hand that feeds them, no matter how corrupt they are.
I would not be surprised if you view the situation the same way. As Oksana said, life in Ukraine is difficult … I have a scoop for you; life in the United States is also difficult.
Yes, of course, I have shared my frustration with all the agencies. Of course, all of them tell me that all 12,000 women listed with their agencies have certified they are seeking a foreign husband. Some of the women’s photos posted today were on the agency’s website ten years ago.
I attached a photo so you can see I am not a typical American overweight man. Likewise, I have no interest in the typical American woman. Love is not on their list of things American women seek in a marriage. Is it different in Ukraine?
I have no interest in the typical American woman. Love is not on their list of things American women seek in a marriage. Is it different in Ukraine?
Thanks for letting me vent my frustration that, after 10 years of dedicated searching, I cannot find one Eastern European woman seeking a quality foreign man.
Perhaps you know a better way to conduct a search for the one. I am certain your readers would find it interesting to read a human interest story of the life of a professional dater. I have a lot of tips for how they can be more successful.
Roger Wright is an American living in Urbana, Ohio.
