For years, this has been my advice to companies interested in trying to make a go of it in Ukraine’s rough-and-tumble business environment. Over the years, various interests have sought the seat-of-the-pants view of a fellow who came for a year, but stayed a lifetime. 

While the political climate matters, I tell them it should not be a show-stopper. Don’t wait until after a next election to make your big decision.  Chances are, very little will change, at least as it relates to your company’s ability to succeed. 

I see the Viktor Yanukovych administration as the Keystone Cops and the Gang that Couldn’t Shoot Straight separated at birth. They seem to step in every mud puddle on the road to wherever they intend to take the country. At the same time, the “family” has grown very rich. 

But then, the Viktor Yushchenko regime was pathetically inept, and fumbled away a historic chance to move Ukraine forward because – and this is a simplification – he couldn’t play nice with the ambitious lady who was his prime minister. 

Way back when I first set foot on these shores, Leonid Kuchma held sway. He seemed a tough son-of-a-gun. He balanced the interests of western and eastern Ukraine, and, globally, West and East. His administration, however, was haunted by the murder of journalist Georgiy Gongadze. 

For the record, I don’t believe that Kuchma is a killer. This is pure conjecture, but I feel he possibly could be guilty of late-night, expansive, vodka-laced hyperbole that possibly was taken too seriously by a collection of stooges. Hence, we have the famous tapes that may or may not be authentic. 

Does that matter? Of course it does. Good leadership is the hallmark of all great countries and companies. However, a company can succeed in Ukraine even if the nation’s leaders have been – as the satirist Jonathon Swift might have labeled them – “a confederacy of dunces.” 

My advice to companies thinking about tossing the dice in Ukraine generally starts with a preamble:  This is a country that has about 45 million people. It is a nation that smokes cigarettes, drinks soda pop, has headaches and cleans bathrooms. 

It is a consuming public. If you have a better mousetrap, a tastier soft drink or a gee-whiz electronic gadget, a wonder tablet, you have a market of willing buyers.  But when it comes to avoiding the jellyfish, I have five hard-and-fast, non-patented nuggets of advice:

Avoid ‘coyote ugly’ – Don’t get into bed with the wrong local business partner. This is the No. 1 mistake investors make in Ukraine. We have seen it happen with banks, telecoms, agriculture companies, retailers – in virtually every sphere. Due diligence is a must. Never make decisions on local partners by long distance. Never rely solely on word-of-mouth recommendations, and never take credentials for granted; they are often inflated. 

Don’t be a ‘nattering nabob of negativism’, to quote a phase William Safire wrote for a failed vice president. Be practical, but be positive. Don’t join the doomsday chorus. It is simply not productive.  A positive approach will open more doors, and you will keep your sanity. 

Watch out for barstool philosophers. When economic crises strike, it seems everyone at the local watering hole has an opinion on currency fluctuations. Most overstate the case; alarmists draw a larger crowd.  

Beyond this, however, are the grizzled cowboys who operate just a shade outside their own country’s laws and that of the host country.  Listen to them: It’s entertaining. Don’t take their advice.  

Practice the theory of diminished expectations. This won’t win you any points with the boardroom back home, but in the long run, it’s smart.  Too often companies expect from governments and people in Eastern Europe what they couldn’t hope to accomplish in their own countries. They rationalize this by saying the risks are greater. Patience is universally a virtue, but in Eastern Europe, wear it like a favorite old sweater.   

Avoid flying under the radar, even though your legal advisers might advise you to do so. You can’t and won’t go unnoticed. If you employ people and sell a product, you’re on everyone’s scope from local mischief-makers to officials, which might be one in the same.  Don’t be ostentatious, but do be strategic in your awareness program. Good corporate citizenship creates a reservoir of good will. Strategic outreach programs with government officials can help avoid pitfalls later. In the final analysis, surviving in Ukraine is a little like a day at the racetrack. If you can make it around the circuit without wrecking or blowing an engine, chances are you can succeed. 

Kyiv Post CEO Michael Willard can be reached at [email protected].