(Translated and edited by Voices of Ukraine)

Here’s the summary for March 31

The bad news:

1. Russia is ready to pressure Ukraine with everything it’s got.

It’s not only about the Kremlin’s plan. Putin has brainwashed his people so well, that 74% of Russians are ready to support the leadership of the Russian Federation in the event of a military conflict with Ukraine. And, 77% of the respondents are confident that Ukrainians, of course, are to blame for the deterioration of relations between Kyiv and Moscow. This is evidenced by a survey conducted by the Russian Levada-Center – known as a powerful and independent organization.

Generally speaking, if Putin dumped nuclear weapons on Ukraine – our Russian brothers would only applaud his efforts. If they can be considered our brothers after this – that’s a rhetorical question. That is, even if Moscow withdraws its troops from the borders – the conflict will not end even when they are gone. So, that’s the answer to the question ‘if Russians want war.”

2. Donetsk oblast [region] council and his head Andiry Shyshatskyi have appealed to the Verkhovna Rada of Ukraine [Ukrainian Parliament] to take measures “for the stabilization of the situation in Ukraine.”

Stabilization in accordance with Donetsk – is the adoption of referendum law (it is clear as day, for federalization purposes) and to make Russian the state language. Now, find at least one difference from Putin’s ultimatum.

All in all, Donetsk oblast council with Shyshatskyi followed into the footsteps of the Party of Regions, and are now transmitting Moscow’s messages in unison. It seems that Shyshatskyi cannot wait for his salary to be paid in rubles.

3. Mykhaylo Dobkin, the Presidential candidate from the Party of Regions, promises a seamless ascension to the Customs Union once he’s elected the President of Ukraine.

On the one hand, the Party of Regions mantras about the healing miracle of being in the Customs Union have long caused acid reflux. On the other hand, these mantras are the guarantee that Dobkin has as many chances of becoming the President, as I have of being canonized by the Ukrainian Orthodox Church of the Moscow Partiarchate. Yes, there are some adherents who still believe in the Customs Union, but there aren’t many of them left.

The good news:

1. After long deliberations, the Ministry of Defense of Ukraine has confirmed the information of our Information Resistance group that the number of Russian troops by the Ukrainian border has decreased over the last few days.

At the same time, Putin has promised Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, to “partially withdraw” Russian troops from the Ukrainian border.

I have already said this, and I will say it again: it’s too early to relax now. The threat of invasion has not gone away. But I’m very please with the drop in voltage. Since, unlike Russians, Ukrainians do not rush to spill the blood of their neighbors.

2. Turchynov has announced unexpectedly that Ukraine is considering changes to its non-aligned status. That is, there is no definitive decision yet, but it’s not excluded.

As for me, it is quite an adequate statement. Putin poked our noses in our non-alignment, spit on all sorts of useless scraps of paper like the Budapest Memorandum. And we would be idiots if this did not make us think deeply.

It is clear that the issue of non-alignment should be considered by Ukraine under the new President. But nothing prevents them from getting ready for it now.

However, the question arises whether we should abandon Crimea/let Crimea be. I think we should remember the precedent of Turkey and Greece with Cyprus. But this is a topic for another discussion.

3. Now, about the traditional hilarious trolling by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of Ukraine.

Our diplomats have announced that they were ready to help the Kremlin – to present their confederation plan and institution of 5-10 state languages in Russia. What an appropriate answer to Moscow’s didactic tone on how to equip Ukraine.

By God, I would have given my monthly military pension to see the face of the “Kremlin dog” Lavrov when he read this message from the Ukrainian Ministry of Foreign Affairs.