“I came to you as an intermediary, to hear both sides.”
If you think that’s an opener from the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe or the Red Cross or Amnesty International, hold your breath.
That’s how Mariana Bezuhla, 31, introduced herself to a protest group fed up with virulent, greed-fueled, jam-packed overdevelopment in Kyiv’s school-starved Obolon district, her constituency. A doctor by training, she graduated from the U.S. State Department’s “Health Care and Marginalized Populations” program. She’s a member of Ukraine’s parliament with president Zelensky’s ruling Servant of the PEOPLE party (emphasis added), which holds 248 seats (58.6%). The irony marches on: Obolon happens to be the very district where a triumphant Zelensky (73.2%) slam-dunked his ballot in front of the cameras in last year’s landslide races. So let’s just assume he, too, voted for her.
How did they get this far, this fast?
To recap, the credit goes to Zelensky’s cult-like comic persona and his media tandem with billionaire oligarch Ihor Kolomoisky, whose TV channel runs his show. Add to that an electorate demoralized and disoriented by five years of Russia’s plausibly deniable “civil war” of attrition against denuclearized Ukraine. With military aid coming in too little, too late, what could possibly go wrong? By 2015-2016, the momentum had been lost. By then, thousands of ordinary, oligarch-unaffiliated Ukrainians, activists and volunteers — Ukraine’s badly needed agents of change — had perished on the frontlines. By then, the government and the elites had re-embraced their chronic business-as-usual condition, siphoning billions offshore and continuing to do business with Russia in broad daylight. Sometimes, with G7’s blessing. To top it off, the elites had co-opted into their ranks some of the very loudmouthed influencers famous for battling corruption. R.I.P. Reforms.
Thus came the perfect storm that blew the mind of the war-weary, novelty-seeking, bread-and-circuses-driven voter. Overnight, a hero fresh out of a fairytale and his fantasy of a party stole the national spotlight. His platform? A corruption-killing, bills-slashing, people-serving, war-ending cure-all!
At that point, Zelensky had been a rising star for over a decade. He cut his teeth playing the stereotypically backward Ukrainian and making fun of all things Ukraine to suit the needs of an enlightened and imperial-minded Russian audience — both before and after the war. He also excelled in Saturday Night Live-style political parody at home. Yet even a few years ago who could have thought that this guy would actually go into politics, hitting the electoral jackpot with his “Servant of the People” TV show character? Meet Vasyl Holoborodko — an honest, hardworking, public transport-riding history teacher-turned-president. Like a hippie knight in shining armor, candidate Zelensky used his immensely popular Holoborodko character as a workhorse in his crusades against both corruption AND the war.
Under his lovey-dovey wing of Russian-Ukrainian camaraderie and bilingualism (yes, Russian first), Zelensky-Holoborodko swept to power an army of unprecedentedly diverse (geographically and ideologically) party-list and single-member candidates. Candidates like Obolon’s Bezuhla — to her credit, a former doctor on the frontlines. In patriotic-leaning Obolon, that resulted in her winning 38.4% of the vote, the patriotic electorate being muddled and split between five other candidates. As the Servant of the People franchise approaches its first anniversary in office amid a mounting global healthcare and economic crisis, where do they stand with voters now? According to polls compiled even before the pandemic entered Ukraine, that’s where the honeymoon ends and the hangover begins.
In the hangover department, we Oboloners have a filthy rich history to tell. Two years ago, plans got under way to tear down a private recreational facility in our vicinity — originally a children’s pool affordable to the general public. In its place, we’re being told (government officials and developers speak with one voice), a multiple-towered 28-storied condo complex needs to be shoehorned. On land that belongs to the community. What a gift from the gods to an already overburdened neighborhood whose skyline largely consists of 9- and 16-storied Brezhnevkas, the dwarfs and dinosaurs of the late 70s-early 80s. A rusty infrastructure, complete with geyser-prone pipes, scarce schools, kindergartens, and sometimes street lights — none of the above joys of life prevented the Petro Poroshenko-Vitali Klitschko majority in Kyiv City Council from trying and ramming another Babylon down the throat of Obolon.
Such policies poured an ocean of salt into Poroshenko’s electoral box of chocolates nationwide.
Poroshenko’s epic and well-deserved fall from grace meant bad news for Klitschko, the Kyiv mayor, one of his closest allies. Initially, Zelensky’s team sought to fire him from his head of the Kyiv City Administration post, the juiciest of the twin posts he holds, the other being the elected head of the City Council. Then-chief of staff Andriy Bohdan even accused Klitschko’s team of offering him a $20 million bribe. Amid tensions, perhaps by pure coincidence, the sword of Damocles also descended on Klitschko associate Maksym Mykytas, a developer and member of parliament (2016-2019). His company, UkrBud, suddenly found itself cash-strapped and suspended operations, leaving some 13,000 would-be homeowners anxious to get their money back. Police raids followed. (As of late January, Mykytas wore a bracelet.) Fearing for his job security, Klitschko tapped former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, Trump’s personal lawyer, for his defense. A few short months later, the Ukraine scandal erupted, dominating the U.S. news cycle. With Giuliani now gracing the airwaves at FOX News nonstop, fiercely pushing Trump’s version of events, which Zelensky couldn’t resist corroborating, Klitschko’s ouster became cost-prohibitive. In light of these developments, Zelensky and Klitschko reached a ceasefire. Its strength, it should be noted, currently exceeds anything we’ve seen on the Russia-Ukraine front. According to media reports, Zelensky’s now-chief of staff Andriy Yermak played a key role in brokering the hush-hush power-sharing deal with Klitschko. Spoiler alert: Yermak also dabbles as Ukraine’s point man in peace talks with Russia. Well, negotiation skills probably run in the family. Videos leaked by Servant of the People member of parliament Geo Leros, leader of the anti-capitulation faction within Servant of the People, allegedly show Yermak’s brother selling senior government posts in private, behind-the-scenes conversations. Guess who’s under investigation now? Leros, the leaker. Any word from Zelensky? So far, zero.
And that cozy consensus marked the beginning of yet another Obolon offensive by special interest developer forces. On December 10, 2019 — for the fifth time in a year — City Council tried to push through the notorious construction agenda. With signs in our hands and nothing but scorn in our hearts, more than a dozen of us Oboloners showed up again and named and shamed the usual suspects involved. Instead of voting it down once and for all, they shelved it again.
Shortly afterward, we made an unpleasant discovery: On Nov. 13, 2019, the land plot in question, which, again, belongs to the community, had been quietly and apparently not-so-legally re-designated in the government land register — from recreational facility to, yes, you got it, housing. Charity, er, reforms start at home, right?
Never mind the four criminal cases opened — some stalled, some closed, some reopened. Not to mention all the letters, pickets, petitions, calls, appointments, police questionings and court hearings. We’re talking hundreds and hundreds of man-hours — to be precise, mostly woman-hours — tons of precious time spent away from work and family. Standing up for our community’s rights, the most active of us even set up a nonprofit, Obolonian Sich, in stark reference to the Zaporozhian Sich, Ukraine’s Cossack quasi-state in the 16th-18th centuries. Eventually crushed by Russia, it’s been romanticized by Ukrainians from then on for its against-the-odds defiance of the hegemons Ukraine had to deal with throughout its history.
Speaking of Russia, the two owners of the pool-on-the-chopping-block used to be nationals of that particular hegemon. Well, Garik Korogodsky, the more outspoken of the two, has obtained Ukrainian citizenship. Born in Kyiv, he claims to have sold his stake in the business. Ta da, he’s running for mayor! Any other refreshments? How about this: Cariatide Immoinvest, the “new” company taking over (major selling point: “investor”), sprang to life on (drumroll, please) November 18, 2019. Think about it: Just five days after the land plot had been re-designated behind the scenes. And guess who’s in charge of the “new” company? One Leo Zahn, a resident of Vienna, Austria. Another click — et voilà! Mr. Zahn pops up as “the executive director” and “shareholder” (“proportion: 100.00%”) of Edelburg Development, the “old” company that tried to kick-start the project from day one. Thank you, Google! Danke, Firmen ABC!
Having done our homework, we came a little short in the kid-glove department when finally meeting with Ihor Popov, a representative of the “Austrian company” Cariatide Immoinvest, on Feb. 27, 2020. His awkward attempt to charm an angry audience fell flat. Like a ton of bricks. He took it like a man, or, rather, a professional spokesperson — with a straight face. OK, let’s cut to the chase. He pretty much had the same old carrot to dangle: An in-house “community-owned pool.” In exchange for our community’s land. Tremendous! Imagine all the other benefits the 28-storied jack-in-the-box could bring: More congestion, more pollution, less sunlight — amid raging problems like aging pipelines and power lines, overcrowded schools and kindergartens. How’s that going of affect our quality of life? Naturally, we said no. And you know what MP Bezuhla (Servant of the PEOPLE) said? Again, stressing her “intermediary” capacity (great work, State Department), she said this: “Don’t get me wrong, but let’s be realistic: Can the community afford to maintain this recreational facility? As long as you have all these problems with the infrastructure and the nearby lake, investors will always be willing to go in. Socially responsible business does exist and brushing off all options can be dangerous because they might simply take their business to other institutions.” In other words, carrot or stick? It’s their way or the highway? Please accept this incredibly generous offer or you’re on your own? Like NATO’s privately channeled Chamberlainian word of advice: Hey Ukraine, don’t even think about “taking up arms;” don’t resist Russia’s annexation of Crimea, or else?
Let’s be brutally undiplomatic: From the Budapest Memorandum to the Minsk Accords, two generations of Western leaders have succeeded in coercing and cajoling Ukraine. Not only that, but they also seem to have enjoyed the blowback — being fooled back. By who? By the same “bold and farsighted” genius “reformers” they had praised and propped up and cuddled and cooed over. Here’s the deal: Every time Ukraine caves in and foolishly gives up something, our “partners” would have us believe we did the right thing. It’s all in our best interest. In the mid-90s, we kissed goodbye to the world’s third-largest nuclear arsenal. A quarter of a century later, we’re being helped out of our sovereignty, territorial integrity and, yeehaw, some of the world’s most prized farmland! All of this amid an economy-wrecking pandemic that spells global food shortages. And what do we get in return? Smiles and handshakes at summits, visas, and opportunities for the select few, “support” and “reforms” for all. Fair trade, huh?
Zelensky came into office as the leader many had been waiting for, bridging Ukraine’s East and West like never before. Someone less dogmatic and more pragmatic, someone more flexible and less feisty. (Thank you for the aid, NATO!) He’s definitely less of a headache than patriot-in-his-own-mind Poroshenko or, heaven forbid, some real nasty nationalist, isn’t he? Slowly but surely, however, from scandal to scandal, Zelensky’s meteoric rise turns to fall. Will the cabinet reshuffle help? Only if it helps us “reconcile” with Russian-held Donbas and brings water to heavily militarized Crimea, apparently his fallback voting blocs. Got a problem with Ukraine quietly capitulating to Russia? Better stay home! Or grab some coronavirus.
On Zelensky’s watch, new life has been breathed into old regime unholy alliances and land grabs. Take Kyiv’s Solomiansky district, where a parking garage had been built instead of a pool for kids. Not quite as advertised. Busted on related corruption charges, Kyiv’s former chief architect Serhiy Tselovalnyk quickly found a guardian angel willing to vouch for his release: Hanna Bondar, herself a former Kyiv urban development official and now a member of parliament with, yes, you got it, Zelensky’s Servant of the People. Clearly, the coronavirus of corruption stands no chance against a party so immune from reality.
“Come spring, we’ll be planting [putting crooks in jail].” “We will not be able to defeat corruption if you turn a blind eye to it.” Zelensky said all that and a truckload more last year. As the spring of 2020 blossoms in Obolon, his voting district, we Oboloners keep our eyes wide open. In the early days, even our noses. Sorry, not enough masks were available to us, the mortals. What about you, Mr. President?
