The full-scale war has divided many Ukrainian couples. The theme of love in war hurts everyone. Someone went to the front, and someone went abroad. But there are couples which saw both go to defend Ukraine. Is there sex in wartime?

Two women and one man shared their personal experience of love in a full-scale war with Kyiv Post.

Alina Kundukova, a copywriter and mother of a six-year-old daughter, told how the war separated her from her beloved. Alina bought a plane ticket to fly from Ukraine to the Polish city of Lodz a month before the war, and soon left Ukraine for the sake of the safety of Alice, her six-year-old daughter. The day before departing, on January 26, the woman and her sweetheart met to say goodbye, not knowing that it would be forever.

“When I was in Poland, it seemed March 12-13, the 17th-18th days of the war, he started condemning me for not being at home, for being safe with the child…,” Alina says.


One of the important reasons why Alina decided to fully delete the man from her life was relationship with a girl from Russia, which he continued simultaneously: “I felt not only personal betrayal, but also betrayal of my Ukraine.”

Alina Kundukova, who raised funds to buy a weather station for the Armed Forces of Ukraine. (Photo Credit: Alina Kundukova)

“From one soul to another is the shortest distance. Why does transport run so infrequently?”

Two more people, separated by the war, are going to get married after it ends. He is currently serving in the communications regiment of the Armed Forces of Ukraine in Vinnytsia Region, while she is involved in volunteering in Ivano-Frankivsk Region. She went to her home town once the war began. They stay in touch via the Internet, and call once every three days.

“There are cases when people seem to live in the same house, on the same square meters, and spiritually they are so far from each other that it is, excuse me for saying, not a family, but God knows what. And sometimes it so happens that people are miles away from each other, but spiritually they are on the same wavelength, in sync. As Lina Kostenko once said: ‘From one soul to another is the shortest distance.’ Why does transport run so infrequently?” “Well, and I’m grateful to this person for providing this transport,” the guy says.


After the war, he plans to propose marriage but hasn’t bought a wedding ring yet: “I was just looking yesterday. But I was told that two wedding rings cost UAH 15,000… And UAH 15,000 is the price of military equipment, to buy everything that is more or less necessary, and put it on from head to toe.”

Asked if there was sex in war, the guy replied: “I was involved in tough military actions, and it was quite difficult physically. I was not physically prepared back then. This very atmosphere, this type of activity – all of this suppresses the libido… Those who are constantly on the frontline say that war reduces a person’s libido.”

Poet fighting in the Armed Forces

Some were divided by the war, and some were united

Yaryna Chornohuz, who has been at war since 2019, told Kyiv Post how the war united her with her beloved husband. The girl wanted to go to war in 2014. In the past, Yaryna was involved in promoting the Ukrainian language, various initiatives that blocked anti-Ukrainian sentiment in the country. But fate was such that on April 14, 2014, the day when the Anti-terrorist Operation began, Yaryna gave birth to a daughter. So, she could not leave her in the first few years. First, in 2019, Yaryna decided to defend Ukraine as a volunteer paramedic, but then fate forced her to go to war as a contract soldier:


“Tragedy struck in 2020. The guy who was very close to me, with whom we were in position, died… And then I decided that I would go his way. I realized that the only way out to survive this loss was to take the same path as he had taken.”

She is currently serving in the 140th Marine Reconnaissance Battalion. It will soon be two years since the woman began fighting here. A year ago, Yaryna married her current husband in order to be able to serve together.

“At that time he was released for a few days through rotation.  And I was released, although I had been serving in the 140th battalion for a few days. And we just got married in Nova Kakhovka for 85 kopecks… I proposed marriage to him, because it was the only way to see each other, and I hoped that these papers would give us the opportunity to serve together, but, unfortunately, this did not happen…,” the woman explains.


All the time the newly-weds had served in different places, but with the start of this full-scale war, Petro simply came to the front and told Yaryna he would be with her now. The platoon commander said: “Okay! Welcome!” So, the war brought together two loving hearts.

Yarina Chornoguz and her husband Petro, Donetsk Region, Bakhmut front (Photo Credit: Yarina Chornoguz)
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